By Melissa Platero, CCNN Writer
Ever since the 1980s, the pizza-eating, karate-chopping, katana-wielding Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been an epic part of childhood. Dozens of video games, movies, and television shows have captured the hilarious antics of the mutated turtles Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo, who were trained by the mutant rat Splinter to battle the evil ninja Shredder and his Foot Clan. Unfortunately, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie hitting the big screen right now is a huge disappointment, filled with lame jokes, cartoonish action scenes, and not enough of the ninja turtles.
Yep, you’ll be spending way too much time following “actress” Megan Fox’s reporter character as she bumbles around trying to prove that the ninja turtles are real to her skeptical boss (played by Whoopi Goldberg). Then, once she meets up with the turtles, there’s way too much time spent on Fox’s ditzy cuteness rather than the coolness of the Turtles…
…then again, the four Turtles look more like incredibly buff aliens with bad skin, because the computer animation team decided to go for a weird rugged style. Like, they’re kind of scary looking! Although each of the boys play to their usual roles of Leonardo the leader, Michelangelo the partier, Donatello the thinker, and Raphael the bruiser, it’s done with too much exaggeration. Donatello is made out to be some super awkward nerd and Raphael is a tiny-headed muscle man.
Still, all this would be forgivable if the story was awesome, but it’s not. Shredder and his Foot Clan are taking over New York and planning on releasing poison, because an evil company executive wants to make tons of money selling the antidote. How the Turtles get from point A to point B, saving the day, is just a whole lot of noise and cartoon-style animation. It’s no surprise, considering Michael Bay is involved, doing his usual Transformers-style explosions-and-more-explosions. Our final verdict? We give this flick a “C-”.
Images courtesy of Paramount Pictures.